I don’t even remember a time when I was not an over-thinker. I used to overthink and overanalyze everything from the start, which has made me more anxious over the years.
I remember being in school when we had to read out loud in turns. I would count the children before me and then count which paragraph I would get.
Finally, I would read the paragraph over and over in my mind so I don’t make a mistake when my turn comes.
Overthinking never stops.
I used to think it would get better with time, but it didn’t.
It got worse and worse.
I usually spend the time I should write or study on overthinking.
Overthinking will lead to anxious thoughts, and I would start worrying about random things that haven’t even happened yet. I would ruminate about the past and present and worry about the future.
When I graduated, I took a year off to prepare for exams. It was bad luck that exams got delayed, so I was at home for three years. I used to worry all the time at the start.
What if I made the wrong choice?
My anxiety was at its worst during that time. I watched lots of TED talks and read lots of articles on psychology to stop overthinking, but nothing worked for me.
The most common tricks I found were:
Exercise.
To not think about it and focus on something else.
Meditation.
I tried them all.
These are all good if it works for you, then it’s great. And exercise and meditation should be a part of your daily life. It’ll improve your life. But it never worked for me when it comes to overthinking.
The problem is, it’s always easier in the day.
I can meditate in the morning, exercise, talk to people, and everything, but during the night is when overthinking starts. You get stuck in a loop.
And when I’m too stressed, meditation is just a peaceful time to overthink things.
I hate running. I think I don’t even know how to run properly (I’ve been told that by others. I have a video of me running that no one will ever see).
But I tried that too.
Here are the things that worked for me:
1. The Ultimate Escape
If you are a reader, you already know what I am saying. If you’re not a reader, then it’s time to read.
“Everyone is a reader… some just haven’t found their favourite book yet” — Anonymous
I was 17 when I read my first book. When I was at home for three years, I read 124 books in a year.
Books transport you to different places, allowing you to experience countless lives while keeping overthinking and anxiety at bay.
I think it falls in the category — to not think and focus on something else.
If you’re anxious and can’t concentrate, re-reading a book you love is the best.
When you know the story, it becomes more soothing. Re-reading the words you know will comfort you.
2. Color Your Way to Calm
You don’t have to be a talented artist to do something artistic.
Just a simple act of coloring can give you peace of mind. When I’m not feeling well, I draw small flowers. I bought different colored pens for that.
I started Calligraphy in 2020 after watching it on Instagram, and I love it.
We all had art classes as kids.
Just remember what you used to love and start with that. You can just simply buy a coloring book and some colors. It will be like meditating.
3. Screen Time vs. Me Time
Binge-watching is your worst enemy when it comes to overthinking and anxiety.
You’ll end up feeling worse. Netflix and Prime seem easier and more convenient than reading. Sometimes you don’t want to do anything, so you start your favorite series and watch 2–3 seasons in one day.
Been there, done that.
I always end up feeling emotionally drained.
Now I don’t just have the thing I was worried about earlier, I will start worrying about the time I lost watching the series. I will regret the wasted time thinking of everything I could have done in that time.
You’ll end up destroying your sleep schedule too. Staying up all night never helped an overthinker or anyone else.
4. Turn Chaos into Clarity
It works best for past situations.
If something has happened and it’s going on and on in your mind, write it all down. It’s so hard I get it.
Sometimes I cry so much I can’t even see what I am writing, but I do it anyway. And it helps.
It gives you a proper outlet for your feelings and you’ll feel light by the end. If you want to do a little more than just tear the paper and throw it away.
It feels like you are in a movie. If you don’t want to do this, then keep a journal.
It will feel silly for some time but helps you in the long term.
5. Tame Your Inner Critic
When you’re overthinking about the future instead of keeping thinking of all the what-if situations, just conclude and don’t revisit that topic.
For some people, not thinking at all works. But it never worked for me.
I will stop thinking about it for some time, but then it will come to my mind again. So to keep myself from thinking the same thing repeatedly, I draw up a conclusion.
For example, let’s take writing. If you’re a writer, maybe your thoughts are similar to mine. And you’ve at one point or another thought:
What if you never make it?
What if you don’t have what it takes to be a successful writer?
And so on.
Next time you think like that, do this:
First, I will think of something positive. Even some inspirational quotes work. Read any inspirational article.
Then think of what you’ll do instead of thinking about all the negatives.
For example, I will write two articles today. That’s something positive. You have an action you can do.
That’s it, then stop the thinking. I tell myself that I will revisit this when some additional information arrives. I will focus on my writing for now.
Maybe it’ll take time for you to reach your goal, but worrying helped no one.
This will all take time. Maybe months. Train your mind and don’t give up on the first try.
Keep trying.
You’ll get there.
I still overthink, but now it’s not out of control. I don’t get stuck in the vicious loop. I am getting better daily and I hope I keep improving.
P.S. This article was originally published on Medium.
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I’ll see you next week,
Sushmita