The Unexpected Joy of Letting Go (And A Surprise for You)
Embracing Imperfection in a Picture-Perfect World
According to the American Psychological Association, 38% of people surveyed said their stress increased during the holiday season.
And I finally understand why.
Even though it’s holidays, you don’t have time. You have to go to all these family gatherings and there’s financial pressure for some people. Some people have to tolerate their toxic family.
For me, it’s the social media.
One look at Instagram is enough to make me believe that everyone is living their best lives. I know that’s not true. I know they don’t have everything sorted out, but sometimes it’s hard to convince myself.
It’s because somehow the pursuit of perfection has become an unspoken norm. And people are doing everything they can to present an idealized version of themselves.
And to be honest, I was affected by this. It feels like everywhere I go people are doing something great.
Someone got their dream job.
Someone else had kids.
Someone is traveling all over the world.
People are doing all kinds of things and I’m sitting on my bed with my laptop trying to figure out how to manage my writing, two newsletters, YouTube, and X.
But in the past year, I’ve learned some things about letting go.
And it’s easy if you understand the nitty-gritty details about imperfection.
The Illusion of Picture-Perfect Lives
Scroll through any social media platform, and you're met with a parade of seemingly perfect lives. Impeccable homes, flawless faces, and curated moments that exude happiness and success.
It's easy to compare ourselves to others and feel like we fall short, but the reality is that everyone struggles.
The reality, however, is far from these picture-perfect snapshots.
Their struggle may not be the same as yours but that doesn’t mean they have perfect lives.
And if you’ve noticed, not everything on social media triggers you. For example, people going to clubs or big social gatherings never gave me FOMO. If anything I was happy I didn’t have to do all that.
I feel JOMO (Joy of missing out).
But people who’re thriving in their professional lives, and who have their career sorted make me feel like a loser. I feel that I’m the only one who doesn’t have everything figured out and I’ll be 28 soon.
It feels like I’ve lost a battle I was not even aware I was fighting.
And that is the first step: realizing what triggers you and accepting that even what you see is not the entire truth.
The Weight of Perfection
The pursuit of perfection is a heavy burden to bear.
It is the biggest source of stress and anxiety for some people, including me.
What we fail to understand is that no one is perfect. Like we talked about before, everything is struggling with something, and just because we can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.
And once you fully understand that you can move to the next step:
Just start.
That’s it.
This December is a lot easier for me. Last year, I was a total wreck. I cried a lot and I was so angry with myself for not doing everything I’ve always wanted to do.
So, last year I decided that 2023 will be different. I’ll give writing a real chance and I’ll do what I can to succeed.
Am I successful?
No.
But, I’m trying every day and it makes things a lot better for me.
And the best part is nothing I do is perfect.
It’s messy, but I’m still doing it and with time, it’ll be almost perfect.
The Unexpected Joy of Letting Go
Contrary to popular belief, there is immense joy in letting go of the quest for perfection.
It's a realization that imperfection is not a shortcoming but a natural human trait.
And here’s what I do to truly let go of the negative feelings:
Find what triggers you. We’ve already talked about this one.
Do what you can with the resources and knowledge you have. If you keep waiting for the perfect time, you’ll never start.
Accept that you’ll make mistakes. I wanted December to be the month where I do the most. Unfortunately, due to some personal issues, I did the bare minimum. And after thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that it’s fine. I can start today.
Don’t compare but if you really have to don’t compare just for the sake of comparison. I try to find the traits in the other person that I want and then I make a plan to incorporate those habits/ traits in my life.
Keep telling yourself this: I’m doing my best. And to actually believe it, keep doing your best.
Keep finding ways to improve. And this is the best time to start.
Ask for help. Sometimes, talking to someone else provides you with a fresh perspective about things. Find someone you admire, and just talk to them. After that, really listen to and follow their advice.
Finally
There is freedom in being beautifully, unapologetically imperfect because if you can handle imperfection and disappointment, you will be free to try new things.
So, do everything you’ve always wanted to do. There will never be a perfect time.
See you next Tuesday,
Sush 🎶