I go through stages of consistency
For a few months, I’ll go all in. No breaks. Energetic all the time. Trying my best and staying positive.
Then I will gradually slow down. Still doing all the work but with a little less enthusiasm. Doubts fill my mind and I feel tired all the time.
Finally, I stop. I’ll just spend my days reading fiction and fantasy books. Mostly I’m also sick during this time and even though I am filled with regrets, I will stay away from work. So, I will lose all my progress during these 2 months (that’s how long this phase usually lasts)
Every time I learn something during these 2 months. These are the mistakes I won’t make the next time, but the cycle always continues.
And it’s not that everything is hard
My husband started writing last November, and he’s doing great. I help him with final edits and a few stuff here and there, and I can do it easily.
But when I open my Medium account to write, my mind goes blank. Even my bi-weekly emails for my newsletters are not an issue. I can write these without any problem, but not on Medium.
I know it’s a mindset problem, not a motivation problem.
My brain doesn’t want to pick it up again because when I start, the cycle starts and that means I will quit it again.
So, this time I have decided to do something different.
Understanding the simple things about consistency
I saw this video recently which clicked things into perspective for me. It said that the things that are hardest for us to do consistently or do it all are the things that are most likely to change our lives.
She said that we’ll experience the most resistance when we’re about to make a choice that is going to change everything.
So, you’ll experience the most resistance when you’re trying to be consistent in something that is actively changing everything because you’re a creature of safety.
She calls this point the upper limit or the threshold. Where you know that your actions and your consistency will change everything for you forever.
The regret of bad choices
2023 was a great year for me in terms of consistency, but I was burnt out by the end of September. So, I joined a writing course and talked to my mentor, and after a few suggestions from him; I changed my writing style entirely.
It was such a huge shift, and I was so frustrated all the time. I wanted to do everything right. I wanted to avoid all the mistakes, so I started writing less and less.
I knew about the myth of perfectionism, and yet I fell for it.
Eventually, as the stats went down, I felt more and more sure that I was just not meant for writing. After all, I took the course and still nothing works.
I didn’t see that I was not writing as much as I should.
I went from 5 to 6 articles per week to 1 article per week and then I got sick and I stopped entirely. I kept telling myself that I needed time to rest so I’ll do it after I get better.
Finally, my life turned into chaos.
Reset
I spent the last week making a few tough decisions and even though I am not consistent with writing; I know I will be.
And this time, there will not be a cycle of failure.
2024 will be better than 2023.
And I hope you can learn from my experience and start the things you hate. Find what scares you the most, and do it. Maybe that will change your life.
For me, it’s putting myself out there to fail. So, I’ll do just that.
See you next Tuesday.
S ✨
Here for you, Sushmita! Rooting for you. And, be kind to yourself. 💖